Let's Play a Game
by sakurademonalchemist
Summary: Ed wakes up to a world not his own and offered a chance to make things right without the stone. When he accepts, he finds himself in a world where females hold all the real power and he is somehow turned into a girl! Can Ed fulfill his end of the bargain, or will the Elric brothers be forced to remain in their new forms forever in a world where Alchemy doesn't exist?
1. Chapter 1

"Ow... What the hell hit me?" groaned Ed.

He opened his eyes in pain when he heard the most annoying giggling sound. The light was so bright it hurt his eyes.

"Who's there?" he shouted.

_I am here. You wanted my sister's help, didn't you?_

"Who are you?"

_You can call me... Reality. You've been amusing Truth for so long that it was harder than normal to let me play with you._

"What the hell is that supposed to mean?!"

_I know what you seek, little alchemist. You want to reverse what you did five years ago. Agree to play my game and I'll send you to a place where you can find something more powerful than the little trinket Truth let loose in your world._

"Something more powerful than the Philosopher's Stone? What is it?"

_An ancient remnant of a civilization long since destroyed and has recently been reborn. The little Princess has gotten rid of her original enemy, but soon she shall embark on a new battlefield. She holds the power you would need to return your brother to the world of the living._

"What do I have to do? I warn you now, I'm not going to sacrifice anyone else just to get this power."

_Oh no, the Crystal isn't so barbaric as my sister's little stone. The girl who wields the Crystal is still immature, but the power she holds is great enough to restore your brother. Your only job is to insure she lives long enough to learn how to unlock it's full potential. It requires nothing more than a little effort on your part. No senseless sacrifice, no bloodshed of the innocent._

"What's in this for you?"

_Amusement mostly. Like I said before, my sister was reluctant to let me borrow you for a while. I will warn you now though...while I will allow you to keep your alchemy, you will have to lose something in order to gain this power in return. It will only be temporary...at least unless it amuses me in which case it will be permanent._

"What would I lose?"

_Oh, nothing that would cause you any real harm. Embarrassment and mortification yes, but no harm._

"Can I bring Al?"

_I could arrange it, but he won't be a walking suit of armor. Far too conspicuous._

"I accept your offer then. But you had better keep your end of the bargain!"

_Delightful! In that case, I welcome you little alchemist, to the first world of this kind that I have ever encountered! _

Ed felt like he was falling...and woke up in a forest a few miles from a city. He checked his automail, relieved that it was still there, though it was under some long sleeved clothes. It was during his inspection that he realized something that was rather...horrifying.

"_WHAT THE HELL DID SHE DO TO ME?!"_ yelled Ed in a voice that was entirely too feminine for his taste.

Reality had a rather twisted and evil sense of humor. When she mentioned he would lose something in exchange to play her game, she never mentioned it would be his bits! Reality had turned him into a girl!

He...er, she, heard laughter as she cursed a blue streak. She had been tricked! Once she got over the shock and horror, she started walking. She heard a rustling in the woods, and started running. The sound followed her.

She spun on her heel and came face to face with...a gold kitten? Around it's neck was a collar with a little gold bell...and a very familiar symbol etched in the leather. On it's forehead was a crescent moon in white.

"Al?" she said tentatively.

"Bro...brother?! What happened to you?" said Al.

"Me? What the hell happened to you?! You're a cat!"

"Look who's talking! You're a girl!" retorted Al.

"Son of a... It has to be her doing!"

"Her?"

"Someone called Reality. Claimed to be the sister of Truth. She said you could play her game with me, but she never said that she would change our forms!"

"All I remember was someone grabbing me by my collar...and then I woke up like this!"

"Same here. She told me I had to find some remnant of an ancient civilization in the hands of some girl. She said it would restore your body to the way it was."

_No, I said that it would help to restore his body. You would have to use your alchemy in conjunction with the Crystal to restore it properly. Just to let you know, only the blood relative of the former Queen can even use the Crystal, so trying to steal it won't work._

"Thanks a lot you crazy bitch! Why the hell did you turn me into a girl anyway!?"

_In this world, the ones with the most power _are_ girls you twit. Men can't really access the power here. Think of it as a learning experience._

"And what about Al?"

_I thought he liked cats? Anyway, talking felines are the least of your problems here. If anything they are practically common place with the girls you'll need to find._

"Thanks a lot!" snapped Ed.

_Keep it up brat, and I'll make that change permanent. I would LOVE to see how you explain the gender change to Mustang. Hell, he might even hit on you like he does some of the other girls in his workplace..._

"Don't you dare!"

_Try me._

"Ed, I don't think antagonizing the person who brought us here is a smart thing to do..." cautioned Al.

Ed growled, but scooped Al up and placed him on her shoulder. Al settled on her shoulder blades like a little parrot.

"Sister, what should we say? I mean Ed isn't a common name for a girl..."

"It is if your name is Ed_na_. We can claim Ed's a nickname."

"This is a really weird situation we've gotten into, isn't it sister..."

"No kidding. When this is over, we are never speaking a word about this," growled Edna.

"You think anyone would believe this even if we told them?"

"With as much trouble as we attract by breathing? Most likely. And knowing Mustang he would laugh his ass off."

Al giggled, but settled in. Ed was running at a ground eating lope that she could keep up for an hour without tiring too much. While she ran, she felt something bump in her left hand pocket. Reaching into it, she found a wallet full of this world's currency as well as four keys and ID card.

"Wonder what these are."

_The first key with the blue handle is to any car you want it to be. The second with the green handle is to your safety deposit box. The yellow one is your mail box and the red is to your apartment. Since you are sixteen you can drive in this world, but I wouldn't recommend it until you learn how to. Too many accidents and people will wonder why you're still on the road with a valid license. _

"I thought you sent us here for shits and giggles?" she asked.

_I did, but I think I made things interesting enough that I can help you out a little. Besides, it would be very awkward if you had to explain where your parents are and why you need an apartment. Standard game rules state that whatever poor sap is sent to an entirely different requires at least a place to sleep, enough cash to start off with and if they're old enough something to drive. If I were you I would get a motorcycle. Coincidentally you can claim to be home schooled or you can join the nearest middle school and attend classes. Your choice._

Ed decided to pretend she was home schooled and just hit the local library. She didn't have time to be stuck in some school for hours on end learning things she already knew.

She managed to get to her apartment before the sun went completely down. It was a fairly large place with a bookshelf already full of things to read. Most of it was history, mechanics and a lot of other things that would make searching infinitely easier. The fridge was fully stocked...though to her annoyance Reality filled the door full of milk. Al was snickering at that fact.

Ed soon went to the bookshelf and started reading. Al helped to, like always...though he soon drifted to sleep on Ed's lap. He would have to get used to having an actual body again...even if it was a cat.

A week later Ed left the apartment to get some food, and Al took a walk. Al had discovered that no matter how far he went, he could always find his way back to the apartment without trying. Ed had the same directional sense, though going anywhere else was somewhat problematic.

Ed was walking while reading a new book on physics, which was a rather poor excuse for the laws of alchemy (most transmutations were loosely based on physics and science) when she heard a commotion. Closing her book and placing it inside her bag she started to run.

She found the strangest sight she had ever seen.

Five girls in mini skirts of varying colors were fighting some sort of monster while a guy in a tuxedo of all things was using a cane and a rose to keep him away.

She facepalmed.

"You have _got_ to be joking. These are the girls I was supposed to look for? Mustang would love this..."

She heard laughter from Reality, and had to fight the urge to flip the godlike sentient being off...no matter how much she wanted to.

Since it was clear that while the girl's fighting style was rough that they had it handled, she watched as the bun haired one (twin buns and spaghetti like tails, really?) use some sort of finishing move, she couldn't help but feel the whole thing was amateurish at best. The other four stood around and got their asses kicked while they waited for the short blond one to finish it off. Were they really so damn weak that the other girl was the only one to kill the monsters? And why hadn't the guy done more?

"They are going to need a _lot_ of help..." she muttered.

_Like I told you, the ones with the real power in this world are the girls. Unfortunately they are so unused to actually fighting for their lives that they suck at it. They would rather gossip and going shopping rather than actually _training _their respective powers to actually make a real difference. Hell, the Moon girl is the only one in that group with any real ability to kill the monsters, and she's the strongest of the lot!_

"And you expect me to help them learn how to fight?"

_It gets worse than that I'm afraid..._

"Don't tell me..."

_Moon girl monologues before every fight._

"...Is it too late to back out?"

_Not unless you want to return to finding a stone made of a thousand lives. That Crystal is your best bet to restoring your brother._

"Dammit. So where the hell do I begin?"

_I'll arrange another monster, you unleash your own Sailor powers...which is your alchemy by the way... and you show them how to really fight without all that pomp and flashy moves._

"Wait...Sailor Crystal?" asked Ed with suspicion. She had the distinct feeling she wasn't going to like this. AT ALL.

_When you confront the monster tomorrow, you have to call out the words Renkin Planet Power. You get the whole costume and you can unleash your full alchemy ability. Otherwise you'll be stuck using only the armblade and that lance of yours._

Edna summed up the thought of her in a _miniskirt_ of all things with a single word.

"_Fuck._"

She had the sneaking suspicion the whole game was an excuse to see her fight in a damn mini skirt.

"If I ever hear of pictures of that outfit in Central or Eastern, I am going to find a way to kill you."

The evil laughter was all she needed to hear.

"Girls, there's a monster attacking the library!" said Luna in surprise. The youmi normally attacked better targets.

"We're on it Luna!" said Rei.

"This is odd...normally the Dark Moon waits a day or two before they attack again," said Ami.

"Perhaps they wanted to catch us off guard?" suggested Rei.

They reached the library in time to find a girl already fighting in a Senshi outfit. Her red cape flowed behind her, yet it didn't appear to be hindering her in the least.

Usagi transformed and was about to do her usual speech when the mystery senshi threw a rock at her.

"Hey!" complained Usagi.

"My headache's bad enough! I don't want to hear a damn monologue while I'm trying to kill this damn thing!" yelled the girl annoyed.

She clapped her hands and threw them on the ground, doing a perfect handstand. Without warning a spike created out of the road impaled the monster, causing it to cry out in pain before it died.

Getting right side up, she walked over to it, and clapped her hands again. The monster disintegrated into nothing beneath her hands.

Rei walked up to the girl, looking at her in suspicion.

"Who are you?"

"Me? My name's Edna, but you can call me Sailor Renkin."

Somewhere in a space known as the void, a girl was cackling evilly and holding out her hand.

_Pay up sis! I told you he would do it!_

**Yeah yeah. I have to admit, the sight of my little Alchemist in a mini skirt fighting like a Sailor Senshi is rather amusing.**

_I love multi dimensional recording systems, don't you?_

**Indeed. I wonder how much my little pyro would pay for this footage...**

Reality cackled even more, considering Ed had only told her never to give Mustang _pictures_ of the sight. He never said a word about video tapes! And to top it all off, Ed would soon experience the same issues all girls faced once a month. She was going to make multiple copies of the look on her face when she realized she was having her period!

**I must admit, I was a little...concerned where you would send my favorite chibi alchemist. But this is entirely _too_ entertaining not to enjoy.**

_Ha! I bet you thought I would send him to the magical world, or the one full of soul reapers didn't you?_

**Or the one full of shinobi. I certainly didn't count on this.**

_What can I say sis? I thrive on the unexpected. Besides I doubt this occurred to anyone else!_

**It will be interesting to see how this turns out. Just one question...**

_Yes, sister of mine?_

**What season is this?**

_Second season. Far more entertaining to mess with the time lines, and you know I love time travel stories._

**Yet Pluto wants to strangle you. Something about a pair of twins?**

_Hey, I only came up with the idea. It's not like the Alice/Alyss twin story has been created yet. I mean I have their outfits already done, but I have yet to actually make it._

**You would if you could figure out who would make the best father for them_, _**Truth said dryly.

_I'm leaning on Glen._

**Don't you have to rewrite canon in other worlds?**

_Bite me. I'll do them soon enough. My inspiration cannot be forced like other writers!_

**Your fans are getting pretty restless...**

_I'm still on hiatus! I told them the next parts will be up next month!_

**Yes, but your ideas have started to dry up.**

_My Plot bunnies have conspired against me. First they come to life, then they breed rapidly and finally go on months long vacation without even giving me anything in return... *sniff* Ungrateful furballs..._

**Oh look, Edna's getting on their nerves by calling their faults.**

_Oh goody! Popcorn?_

**Hand it over.**


	2. Chapter 2

Everything had been going on like usual. A youmi appeared and caused problems, they went to fight it and save the people. Only today had been different.

For the first time since they awakened to their past lives, someone had killed the youmi before Sailor Moon could do it. And to top it all off, neither Luna or Artemis knew who this girl was!

This Sailor Renkin had appeared from nowhere and stolen her thunder! And then she had the gall to point out what she said were some serious faults!

Needless to say the other Sailor Scouts weren't eager to deal with her. She was crass, rude and had a short fuse. She didn't even act like a real girl!

"What are we going to do about this strange Senshi?" whined Usagi.

"We don't know anything about her, aside from her name..." said Mikoto.

"And according to Luna she might not even be a real Scout," Ami pointed out.

"Next time we'll force her to tell us who she really is. Civilians shouldn't dress up and fit Youmi. They could get killed!" said Rei.

None of them noticed an odd yellow kitten outside the window listening to their every word. Al jumped off the branch and went back to the apartment.

* * *

"Sister, it sounds like they're out to get you. They seem to think you'll get killed if you keep fighting those monsters..." said Al.

"Like hell I would! Those things aren't nearly as tough as the damn homunculi!" snorted Edna.

The sad fact was that Ed had been killing the youmi that appeared faster than the scouts, and with less collateral damage. People were already talking about how the Scouts should give up the superhero game. It was annoying the girls fiercely.

Ed stood up.

"Where are you going sister?" asked Al.

"I'm heading to the park for some fresh air. Want to come?"

"I'm going to take a nap near the window seat."

Edna closed the door quietly, not wanting to disturb her little brother.

As she walked through the park, she spotted a little girl getting harassed by some older kids. Ed managed to get them to scatter, picking up the strange ball the girl had been trying to get back.

"You alright?"

"Yeah... I just wish they would leave me and Luna P alone."

"Is that the name of your ball?"

"She's one of my only friends."

"Well that's not true. If you want, I can be your friend too," said Ed.

"Thanks! My name is Rabbit, what's yours?"

"Edna, Edna Elric. You can just call me Ed. You remind me of my little brother Alphonse."

As they talked, Ed learned of Rabbit's obsession with Sailor Moon. She carefully mentioned her dislike of the group. When Rabbit asked why, she pointed out things most people actually ignored about the girls.

"I'm not saying I hate them, I just think they could work a little harder to get stronger. I mean the bun haired one is supposed to be the strongest of the group and she spends way too much time making a speech instead of getting to it. What if one day the bad guys don't patiently wait for her to talk and attack her head on? She could get them killed."

"I never thought about it like that..."

"If they actually trained their abilities instead of just winging it during every fight, they might actually have a better chance of winning without Moon girl's special moves. It's not really fair that the Moon girl is the only one able to beat the monsters."

"The other four are her protectors..." said Rabbit.

"What good are protectors if the only one who can beat the monster is the supposedly strongest one in the group? If they want to protect their leader, they need to learn how to actually fight instead of slinging their powers around half assed."

Before Rabbit could reply, one of the generals found her and tried to capture her. Edna transformed and started to attack back, always keeping herself between the general and Rabbit.

By the time the Scouts showed up, Ed had sent the bad guy packing with a broken arm. And for the first time in her life, Rabbit was looking up to someone _other_ than Sailor Moon.

Though she hadn't counted on one of them seeing her automail arm and the blade that was on it.

She left the park before they could bother her.

* * *

It was Mikoto who ran into Edna outside the gym she frequented. They had an excellent karate class that she enjoyed. She found the mystery girl beating the hell out of the boxing bag. Each hit seemed to make the chain wobble ominously and it was pretty obvious that it was only a matter of time before the bag broke off the chain entirely.

"You're pretty good," said Mikoto. She still didn't know if this was the same girl.

"I'm used to using my hands in a fight. Normally I'd spar with my little brother but it isn't an option right now," said Edna, not even breaking a sweat.

"Hey how about a mock fight with me then? Looks like the ring is clear for the moment," said Mikoto.

"Sure. Be nice to have someone new to fight...I can never beat my little brother."

The two stood easily in the ring. At an unheard signal, they began to throw punches and kicks. Mikoto was surprised at how strong the girl was. But it took her a few minutes to figure out that the girl was an amputee wearing the strangest replacement limbs she had ever seen. She only caught glimpses of metal, but it was enough to confirm her suspicions.

Edna Elric was Sailor Renkin, the girl who had been upstaging Sailor Moon recently, to Usagi's total annoyance.

As they caught their breath, she broached the subject of the Sailor Scouts.

And learned a few things that really bothered her.

Edna had a firm opinion that the Sailor Scouts were really weak. She claimed that they fought half assed and relied too much on Sailor Moon's flashy finishing move to be real fighters.

As much as she hated to admit it, she _had_ gotten lax with her training. She could use a few more hours in the gym and possibly in the forest to really learn how to use her Sailor ability. She never realized how much she relied on Usagi's Crystal to finish off the bad guys. She kept getting her ass kicked in a fight against the youmi.

Edna hid a grin, knowing she had knocked some sense into at least one of the Scouts.

* * *

Edna watched with amusement a week later as Jupiter completely trashed the youmi with a lot more skill than she had before, to the shock of her friends.

For the first time since the team was formed, it wasn't Sailor Moon who defeated the monster. It was Jupiter.

"Mikoto, you really trashed him. What happened?" asked Rei in shock.

"Someone pointed out something I didn't realize before. We've almost never transform or trained our powers outside our fights since we got them. We've mostly been winging it and relying on Sailor Moon's moves to kill the youmi. Hell, half the time we get new attacks we usually get our butt's handed to us first!"

After that shocking revelation, three of them resolved to actually _ train_ in their abilities for a change. Sailor Moon however, decided not to. She had enough on her plate without training.

A month after that day, every scout except Sailor Moon had learned a few new tricks. Usagi had spent the month harassing her boyfriend and goofing off. So it came as a real shock when the girls started taking out youmi without her. Sometimes it only took two of them to get the job done!

When Usagi and the cats commented on it, they repeated the same thing Edna had said to them the first time they saw her. They had been relying solely on the skills they had instead of improving upon them. While they had managed to keep the Youmi from destroying the city, they could do much better if they actually _tried._

It wasn't until Rei accidentally ran into Edna (out of uniform thankfully) that they started to learn more about her.

* * *

"Hello? Is anyone here?"

Rei walked out to find Edna near the charm kiosk.

"Can I help you?" she asked.

"I was wondering how much the best good luck charm you have costs. My luck is horrendous," said Edna.

"It costs 5,000 yen, with a money back guarantee."

"Why the guarantee?"

"If your luck doesn't improve with the charm, then something else must be causing it to be bad, like a potent curse," she shrugged.

Edna handed over the cash, hoping the charm would do _some_ good with her luck. She soon found herself chatting with Rei, who was rather lax about the whole religion front despite being a miko.

It was on her way out that Rei caught a glimpse of her leg.

"What happened to your leg?" she asked curious.

"Same thing that happened to the arm. Experiment gone horribly wrong. Luckily my neighbors happened to be really good mechanics and create artificial limbs for a living. Surgery was absolute hell though," said Edna without pausing.

In the end, Rei managed to get Edna to stay and talk about her home. It was obvious to anyone who got a good look at her arm and leg that she wasn't from Earth.

By the time Edna finished how she had lost both arm and leg, she wasn't surprised in the least to see all five teens and child bawling their eyes out. Even Luna seemed effected by the tale, which kind of freaked her out a bit.

Edna easily handled the hug Rabbit gave her, since her situation wasn't _too_ dissimilar to her own. Though at least she still had a chance for her mother to return to normal.

Al found the hug-of-death (courtesy of Minako) rather, well, breathtaking. Despite the fact that he was a cat at the moment, he was still a fifteen year old boy. And the place Mina had him made him blush to the tips of his furry ears.

(Something Ed would take great pleasure in reminding her brother for _days_.)

* * *

Rabbit held up the ornate key, and said the incantation to activate it. Ed and Al were going with them, since they wanted to see what this Neo Queen Serenity actually looked like.

Edna nearly jumped when Pluto almost skewered her, and brought out her armblade within seconds out of reflex.

Rabbit stopped Pluto, but not before the woman took a good look at her and started to growl.

"Luna P!"

Before Edna could walk through the gate (Al was riding on Minako's shoulder, as he seemed to have developed a crush on her to Ed's amusement), Pluto barred her way.

"I'm not going to allow Truth's toy into Crystal Tokyo," she said crossly.

Edna took a good long look at Pluto and said "Reality pissed you off too, huh?"

"_Sakura_ (Pluto used the name like a curse) seems to enjoy tormenting me far too much. I mean really, twins girls from another plane where the father is currently unknown?"

Edna sat down, and said "Let me guess, this Sakura is the one who calls herself Reality?"

Pluto only glared at her in response.

"You are aware that I am actually a guy who was forcibly changed into a female for her amusement, right?"

Pluto's glare lessened. Clearly Ed was just another victim of the twisted mind of the infamous Sakura.

"So how bad is this chick anyway?"

Pluto waved her key, and flashes of other worlds passed by. Ed winced more than once, and stared in absolute shock quite frequently. Most of the images involved a green eyed boy with black hair in various situations, or another blond boy with blue eyes and a demon fox inside them. Sometimes it was a place where the strongest fighter was an orange haired boy with a permanent scowl.

But it was one where he and the green eyed boy were acting like brothers that caught her attention.

"Hold up, what was that?"

"A world where your home and that boy's were connected by a thin barrier, and you never joined the military," she said flatly.

"What sort of twisted person is this girl?"

_One with a very twisted and evil mind!_~ said a voice nearby. A girl with chestnut brown hair (who had a frizz problem reminiscent of Hermione Granger with a love of libraries to match) and hazel eyes wearing a pair of red glasses bounded up to them with a crazed grin. Next to her was an amused girl with changing hair color, blue-purple eyes and wearing contacts. Both of them had their hair up in a pony tail.

"Reality. Who's that next to you?"

_Oh, Truth let me pick her form today~_ said Reality, or as Pluto called her Sakura.

"Why are you here?" asked Pluto, reading to hit Sakura on the head with her staff if she got half a chance.

_I was bored and heard someone talking about me. I love time paradoxes I can control. Oh, and don't think of annoying me little brat...I can make things happen to you that will make your hair turn white._

Edna knew she shouldn't ask, but really there was only one response to that comment.

"Like what exactly?"

Reality gave the gender confused teen a flat look.

_Are you even aware of how many doujinshi there are on the 'net where the senshi get...well, violated by all sorts of methods? I can **easily**__arrange something of the sort to use on you. I'm thinking something in the range of tentacles..._

Edna's face paled so quickly it looked like she had died. Somehow, she didn't doubt that for a second and the thought of such a thing would give her nightmares for months...

Pluto didn't feel sorry for the so called Senshi. Because frankly it was better this misplaced boy-turned-girl than _her_. About the only senshi that _didn't_ get abused by Sakura was Saturn, and that because the twisted girl liked her best!

_Oh look, it seems Rabbit and the others have reached the castle finally. Perhaps you should let Edna go? I can delay that twin story another month or two if you allow her to see Crystal Tokyo._

Edna was quick to go through the gate. The less time she spent in the presence of such madness, the better.

Pluto stared at Truth, and Truth stared back.

"How do you deal with her on a daily basis?"

**She only gets this bad when she's really bored. It was either throw my favorite alchemist to her or have to deal with her personally. Though I have to admit, this is better than some of her other ideas.**

_Whoot! Now to drive Dumbledore insane!_

Pluto leveled a looked at Reality. Her twisted mind was only getting worse, not better the more bored she got.

"Is there any way to keep her far, far away from me?" she asked hopefully.

**You have a computer? I can see the infamous plot bunnies of perpetually incomplete fanfictions breeding again. Seems to involve a femHarry and Gaara...well that plot is original for once, and no time travel,** said Truth.

Pluto did in fact have a laptop. (What? Did you really think she wouldn't have _something_ to occupy her time while guarding the gates?) Upon tossing it to Reality, the girl cackled evilly and her hands flew on the keyboard. The cackling grew worse, but Pluto learned to ignore it.

As long as the evil girl wasn't focused on making her life hell, she would ignore her to the best of her ability...


End file.
